i sucked it up (not really seeing as i started crying before i even said hi) and called home. mom is definitely disappointed, like dad is going to be. and she did remind me that it's my own fault, because it is. i never know what i want from her when i call, a hard dose of reality and tough love or coddling and a pity party. in any case she gave me a little of both, and now i'm not sure if i feel better or worse. mama told me what i already know, that i have one last chance with fox news, and if that doesn't work, taking classes at d.u. over the summer isn't being useless either. sigh. i feel a little like i'm finally fraying at the seams, but if i continue to think like that it's not going to help anybody and in any case i don't have time to sink into a pit of anything so i'm just going to go study for my bio lab practical tomorrow. my daily devotional tells me to be content in God, not worldly things; i wish i could start thinking like that.

mood_ sad
music_ fever dream - iron & wine
crave_ i don't know

Labels: emo, faith