reason #97 i love being 21: getting to order a vodka cranberry over dinner.

talked to tony today. it's strange suddenly having him back in my life (unless, as he says, he disappears again). still reeling a little bit from how quickly it went from initially awkward to calling each other names just like old times. anyway, he's in seattle, just moved. i have no idea what is wrong with me, but i don't feel for him as much as i did last summer. if this had happened in july, i probably would've been thinking about this shitshow whatever it is a lot; now, it's just residual memories and the apathy that i feel about school, or the month of march, or plain undecorated black flats. okay now i sound like a bitch, but it's his fault for drifting away and staying like that. maybe if we keep up this contact i can get back to where i start caring about him a lot again but at the same time i don't know if i want to since now he's not even in colorado anymore. and yea, i did write a huge blog entry about him and how i loved him blah blah, but it's more like the idea of him and how he used to be, how we used to be, how i was back then with him versus how i was by myself. i don't know. he did make me smile more than once though.

hm.

mood_ contemplative
music_ starry eyed - ellie goulding
crave_ vodka cranberry even though i had 3 over dinner oops

Labels: alcohol, boys, life